“There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world. It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher.” Henry Van Dyke
When I was a teenager, there was a period of time that I stepped away from my peer group. I still agree with my reasoning, but it lead to loneliness. To cure my loneliness I decided to do something my Grandmother taught me. She said, “If you are sad, do something for someone else and you will soon feel better.” So, one day I walked into a hospital and asked if there was anyone that would like a visitor. I ended up making friends with a lovely older woman who had been diagnosed with a progressive neurological condition. She had many talents and had used them well in her life. Among her accomplishments were being a soloist in the St. Olaf Choir, earning a Masters in Social Work, dancing in New York City under Martha Graham, fly fishing in the Rocky Mountains and eventually moving to Wisconsin to raise a family and run a potato farm with her husband. When her children were old enough, she went back to work as a social worker and led a community choir. But now, she needed help with everything. Yet, she loved to tell me stories and listened to mine. We were intergenerational friends.
I visited her in the hospital, her home and toward the end of her life in a nursing home. One day I found her very sad. She told me she felt imprisoned in her body and disrespected in her environment. I asked, “ if you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be?” She looked thoughtful and then said she would love to be able to sit in a row boat on a sunny day and watch the sun dance on the water while she held a fishing pole. I told her I thought we could make that happen. She reminded me that she could not even sit up without support. I told her would be back when I figured out if my idea could work. I rigged up a chase lounge with pillows and blankets in the back of a rowboat and asked my brother if he would help carry her from the shore to the chaise lounge and take her out fishing. He said he would if I made a good lunch to eat afterwards. I called her and said that sun was in the weather forecast for the next day, so if she wanted to go fishing we would pick her up. I can still remember my brother carrying her to the boat and hearing her laugh bounce across the sparkling water. I don’t remember if they caught anything, but they were both happy when they came in for lunch. Months later she told me that her life changed on that fishing trip. While watching the sun dance on the water, she realized that she had only been thinking about what she could not do–instead of considering what she could still do. Since that trip, she had started a book club in the nursing home. Residents and people from the community attended. And they had fun, great discussions and snacks. She also began writing a weekly column for the newspaper. It was wonderful to see her laughing and smiling again. Her love and intelligence was again being used to bless the community around her.
“Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”
Henry Van Dyke
At Hope & A Future, we think more about what people can do than about their limitations. We encourage young and old to share their strengths and we support their limitations. We often see a synergy between the needs and strengths of young and old. Our welcoming culture aims to provide a venue where young and old help each other flourish in our interactive intergenerational community. As work on our expansion moves forward we have begun inviting people to discussion groups about our plans. We call these meetings New Beginnings Conversations.
While we do share information about the planned 55+ housing and programs, we also welcome discussion with the people thinking about living here. Hope & A Future is working to facilitate an engaged neighborhood that cultivates values of kindness, respect, service and commitment to one another. I may be biased, but the people interested in living in our new housing are very special people! They value community. They are people with strengths and talents to share and a desire to be there for others. And they take comfort in the idea of others being there for them. A participant once said, “I am thinking that if I live at Hope & A Future, I will know that I am in a place where people are still trying to take care of each other.” Another said, “While most of us do not know how we will die, at Hope & A Future, we will know who we will be with. And that feels good.” Recently a participant shared that he loved the feeling of collaboration he felt while being at the table. He realized he had missed that feeling since retiring. And that he could have it again at Hope & A Future. We believe that collaboration empowers us to a high level of engagement, service and leadership. We are excited to see collaborative opportunities grow when our expansion is complete and filled with people of all ages!
AI tells us that collaboration involves working together to achieve a common goal. And it requires sharing ideas through effective communication and dividing tasks. At Hope & A Future we dream of sharing ideas for fun, learning, creative expression, artistic appreciation, the work of life and caring for each other. All of this involves sharing talents and a willingness to try something new.
If you are interested in learning more about our (Therapeutic, Interactive, Intergenerational Neighborhood) TIIN model please join us on March 18th from 10AM to 11AM at Hope & A Future at 1115 S High Point Rd. You may drop in or RSVP at [email protected]. If you are interested in reserving a spot in our new 55+ senior housing, we will tell you how. We are excited that 8 of our 15 condos are already reserved!
At Hope & A Future we are fundraising for program spaces. These spaces will be used to offer affordable support to children, their parents and older adults as well as arts appreciation, creative expression and a wide variety of learning opportunities to people living in the Hope & A Future neighborhood and the surrounding community. The Madison TIIN will be a first of its kind model–replication is our goal! Please consider joining us as we work to change long term care as we know it–by cultivating values of kindness, respect, service and commitment to one another intergenerationally! Young and old thriving together, right here in Madison WI!
